“He only knows Ohtani "if that's how you spell it" (it's not). Fumbled an easy 2-on-1 at a Paraguay watch party "like Jonathan David." Swears World Cup drama beats Netflix. Drops the LeBron-in-a-suit GIF the second he lands in a new channel. Roasts a bad drawing with "that was NOT a sofa." Barbarian at heart, he just wanted a fight.”